Earlier this week, the Transportation Security Administration advised that we may see more “comprehensive” pat-downs at airports. Last night, Stephen Colbert’s Late Show team placed these new security checks in a romantic context.
In a sketch last night on Colbert’s show, a TSA agent asks if a man in a suit about to go through security can step away for a moment.
“Yeah — is everything okay?” the traveler asks, as the TSA agent escorts him to another area that resembles a screening area — complete with TSA-esque signs — with a candlelit table for two set with a white table cloth and a rose.
“Oh yeah, I saw you standing by the metal detector and wanted to get to know you better,” the agent says in a voice as smooth as warm butter on hot toast. “Has anybody told you you have beautiful eyes? They don’t seem like the eyes of a terrorist… are they?”
Things only get more awkward for the traveler, who is pulled into a literal patdown dance with the agent.
We don’t want to spoil the end for you, but let’s just say it is our sincere wish and dream that no one finds themselves in this ah, “more intimate” position.
Colbert also talked to Gen. Michael Hayden, former head of both the CIA and the National Security Agency, to talk about yesterday’s WikiLeaks data dump of thousands of supposed CIA documents, and President Trump’s unsupported allegations that Trump Tower was wiretapped: